I molested 6 butterflies tonight
I had new employee orientation at the YMCA today. I showed up with a hangover, a black eye, scratches down my arm, and a sore throat from puking gin and keystone.
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
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