I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
tell your sister to shave her snatch
Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
Randomize