That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
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