i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
New definition for "rock bottom": Waking up in a puddle of your own puke, missing your fake tooth. Then having to dig through said puddle of puke for aforementioned fake tooth. Think it's time I quit partying so hard.
Is this your way of breaking up with me as my wingman?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
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