handjob tips. give me some.
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
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