Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
I could make wine with my vomit
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
Randomize