i don't plan on having that self control this summer
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
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