Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
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I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
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