Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
I wear drunk well.
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
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