On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
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