im sorry i hit your dog last night,,,i didnt even see it
I dont have a dog?
WTF
I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
Randomize