I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
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You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
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