He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
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