i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
Randomize