can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
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