He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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