I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
After last night, I could never be a politician.
I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
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