Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
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