I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
you would pick up someone in the library
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
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My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
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I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
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