i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
Such a big mess for such a small penis
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
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