My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
Randomize