i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was like getting head from an anaconda
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
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