please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
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Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
it's like heaven, but drunker
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
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But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
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