I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
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Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
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My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
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