I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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