Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
Randomize