dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
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