When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
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