As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
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not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
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You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
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