my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize