I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
Randomize