I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
a search helicopter?!
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
Randomize