Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
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I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
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Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
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