just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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