Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
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