i really wish james franco would like my vagina
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
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