I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
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On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
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Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
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