Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
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