I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
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