Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
3 2 1 whiskey
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
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