That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
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she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
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