Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize