dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
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