My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Randomize