I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
Randomize