Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
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I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
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