you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
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