you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
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