I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
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Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
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I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
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