You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
Randomize